Power Sellers Unite

dticorp · Joined: 19 Aug 2006 Posts: 1760

10 Customer Types to Fear and Love

You know them. You fear them. You love them. Now learn to deal with them: The Haggler, The Worry Wart, The Expert, The Evangelist and others are customers who can either help or hurt your business. Love them or hate them, managing them is as important as taking control of other aspects of your business.

Business owners across the country share their nightmare customer types — along with a few dreamy ones — as well as their strategies for getting through the day with both their sanity, and their client list, still intact.

Rest of the article here:
http://www.cnbc.com/id/45672953/

http://www.BigHVAC.com/

BigHVAC.com – The Largest HVAC Directory in the World

http://www.ListFree.org/

ListFree.org - Free Press Release portal

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missprintsvintage · Joined: 18 Aug 2006 Posts: 916

NOTE: the following was not created by this keyboard although I wish I could claim credit.

found in my Giggles file, undated: written some time ago (sellers were still able to write Neg FB, for instance) by one ebay seller who had enough.

TERMS OF SERVICE

Read my auctions terms before you jump in. It only takes an hour or two.

1. Do not bid if you think your grandparents or your pet hamster or your old Honda may pass away around the end of the auction. There’s been a staggering rise in funeral activity and unexpected auto-repair bills and sudden computer crashes that keep winning bidders from their banking duties. This has led me to conclude that your car, your Grandpa and your computer are fine. If you're really sick, I have good news: your hospital has wi-fi.

‘I forgot’ doesn't work for the IRS, and I just follow their lead. You may think that your sudden failure to recall your own Ebay ID is a valid excuse to disappear. For me, it's just a good excuse to give you a nonpaying bidder strike.

2. Don't bid if you don't have regular access to your email account. If I can’t reach you and I spend two weeks emailing into the void while you're stretched out on the beach, I will call you a deadbeat in your feedback. Wipe the Coppertone off your hands and zip over to Paypal with a borrowed computer. Wherever you go, there you are, as Zen masters and internet cafes will tell you.

3. NO LOCAL PICKUP means you cannot ‘swing by’ or ‘stop over’ or any of the hookups people have suggested. Please think, as my ex-boyfriend did, that I live on another planet.

4. Do not bid if you don’t understand that my items are vintage. They are not new (unless, of course, they’re new, which is occasionally true but specified in the auction). This rule is a tribute to someone named Randy in Arizona who once asked if I could send a different 1920s clock because 'this one looked old'.

I don’t take any returned items unless I inadvertently misrepresented the item: full refund if I called it a juicer and it’s a radio. If I call it an ‘ex-husband-bad-vibe-sender’ and it’s a telephone, we go to mediation.

Shipping costs are never refunded, a new rule dedicated to the sorry man in Washington who needed his shipping refunded because he forgot that he's blind and couldn't see what he bid on.

5. I do not like to hear from you bottom-feeders who wait until after an auction and low-ball a ludicrously stupid offer. I am not that desperate. Also, I will not end an auction early because you're getting married. You aren’t. Now take off that silly veil.

I don’t so much enjoy hearing from you Fiesta collectors or ornery doll specialists who have too much time on your hands and want to pontificate about your knowledge of my auction item. Thanks! I don’t care! Emails about the difference between bean and maroon, or Betsy and Wetsy, make us chew off our hands.

6. You have seven days to pay before I begin to send you bad vibes. If you decline insurance, I am not responsible if the item is damaged by some clumsy mailman or driver who backed up over the box on its way to you. I am a superb packer, however, and you don’t have to email me to warn me that glass might break.

7. The ASK THE SELLER A QUESTION button is not meant for angry tirades about how you feel about someone else's rules. That's what your psychiatrist is for.

caljackscollectibles · Joined: 08 Feb 2011 Posts: 251 Location: California

Very humorous missprintsvintage